The Alpha Male Concept

To all my friends, I’ve returned to the blogging scene with a vengeance. So after putting out 60 tweets in a day(a record for me) am putting up my second blog today. Hmmm so let’s see 4-5 months later, finding a topic going on my mind would be pretty easy as I’ve probably seen a lot of things right??? WRONG. It’s that tough to write something different, but thanks to my boi Robby I have some ‘masala’ to put up here.
Synopsis.

A few days back Robby asked me the question of the 21st century(well sort of). He said which among you is the Alpha male. During our 140 character discussions on twitter it came out that none of us actually was fully aware of what the Alpha Male really means. It was at that time I went into research mode. I heard the term in December 2006 when I grabbed a copy of Men’s Health in the hope that I’ll lose some lard balls and look like one of those cover guys(I’m still trying, damn). I also remember hearing it in the ad where a girl goes to a guys house and rates everything according to a meter (and it goes from zero to Jackpot faster than Robby’s dream car when she checks out his body). Anyway I found out a few interesting things which I think can shed some light on the subject
Qualities of an Alpha Male

1 Has a 6 pack: Sigh if it was only beer they were talking about, I would be carrying one in each hand. This is the one you see on Amir Khan in Ghajini(hopefully without a tattoo).

2 Can cook: And here am not talking about opening a pack of 2 minute maggi noodles. Actual cooking with real food. The best way to swoon a woman is breakfast in bed (of course taking her to the bed is tough on it’s own, unless you’re married to her)

3 Impeccable dressing sense: Okay this is the toughest one probably, if you believe robby, then I don’t make the cut, damn even a clown dresses better than me (can’t help it though). The guy has to look like someone right out of a James Bond movie or at least close to it. That means 99.9% of the people aren’t even close to being Alpha Male. The rest probably work in MI-6 maybe. By the way Bhanu your fugly boxers mean you're out too.

4 Job: Yep, where else will you get the Ferrari, the expensive French wine, the Cuban Cigar, the Armani Suit to charm that knock out. Take notes Roohbir, you may need them. The money can actually bring more than one woman (discussed later) but if you want to commit suicide by doing that then, Hey! Go ahead. Okay now am thinking maybe the money part is good but only for one night dates. Damn.

5 The ability to charm: Okay probably the most important, but make sure you only go for one at a time, and keep it short term (Thank you Bhanu Dhanjal), but you should be able to charm any woman you see, whether it’s the office/college slut (Every office/college has one and if you missed your chance than I feel bad for you, just like I feel bad for me  ) to the total straight forward “seedhi saadhi bhartiya nari” (though I believe it’s fictional and does not bear any resemblance to any person living or dead) you should be able to sweep her off her feet, (No brooms please).

6 Mr. Perfect: That guy should be perfect in all respects, can fix the broken appliance, watch the baby, do the dishes, do the girl (in more possible moves than dwarf the number of moves Elvis makes in dance), should stand up for what’s right, arm-wrestle blah blah blah blah...........

7 A big Shaft: Enough said, that requires no explanation ;)

Okay, to say the least some of these actually are making me feel weird so am going to just stop now. Though my attempt is stupid at defining the Alpha Male, I actually found that women like the Beta Male more often when it comes to marriage ( after probably getting screwed by 2-8 Alpha/beta/theta/delta/omega oh fuck it doesn’t matter what their level is..........classic Rock moment........ males depending on the level of horniness ). But I still find it hard to define an Alpha Male, so am going to stop now and discuss it over till we come to a conclusion.

The guy from Alpha Nation.
There was a time the author used to think that Alpha Males were big, handsome, gay men from the land of Alpha Nation, but his beliefs have been widely shaken as he comes to term with the fact that Alpha males are probably the reason he’s single coupled with his own stupidity.