The Alpha Male Concept

To all my friends, I’ve returned to the blogging scene with a vengeance. So after putting out 60 tweets in a day(a record for me) am putting up my second blog today. Hmmm so let’s see 4-5 months later, finding a topic going on my mind would be pretty easy as I’ve probably seen a lot of things right??? WRONG. It’s that tough to write something different, but thanks to my boi Robby I have some ‘masala’ to put up here.
Synopsis.

A few days back Robby asked me the question of the 21st century(well sort of). He said which among you is the Alpha male. During our 140 character discussions on twitter it came out that none of us actually was fully aware of what the Alpha Male really means. It was at that time I went into research mode. I heard the term in December 2006 when I grabbed a copy of Men’s Health in the hope that I’ll lose some lard balls and look like one of those cover guys(I’m still trying, damn). I also remember hearing it in the ad where a girl goes to a guys house and rates everything according to a meter (and it goes from zero to Jackpot faster than Robby’s dream car when she checks out his body). Anyway I found out a few interesting things which I think can shed some light on the subject
Qualities of an Alpha Male

1 Has a 6 pack: Sigh if it was only beer they were talking about, I would be carrying one in each hand. This is the one you see on Amir Khan in Ghajini(hopefully without a tattoo).

2 Can cook: And here am not talking about opening a pack of 2 minute maggi noodles. Actual cooking with real food. The best way to swoon a woman is breakfast in bed (of course taking her to the bed is tough on it’s own, unless you’re married to her)

3 Impeccable dressing sense: Okay this is the toughest one probably, if you believe robby, then I don’t make the cut, damn even a clown dresses better than me (can’t help it though). The guy has to look like someone right out of a James Bond movie or at least close to it. That means 99.9% of the people aren’t even close to being Alpha Male. The rest probably work in MI-6 maybe. By the way Bhanu your fugly boxers mean you're out too.

4 Job: Yep, where else will you get the Ferrari, the expensive French wine, the Cuban Cigar, the Armani Suit to charm that knock out. Take notes Roohbir, you may need them. The money can actually bring more than one woman (discussed later) but if you want to commit suicide by doing that then, Hey! Go ahead. Okay now am thinking maybe the money part is good but only for one night dates. Damn.

5 The ability to charm: Okay probably the most important, but make sure you only go for one at a time, and keep it short term (Thank you Bhanu Dhanjal), but you should be able to charm any woman you see, whether it’s the office/college slut (Every office/college has one and if you missed your chance than I feel bad for you, just like I feel bad for me  ) to the total straight forward “seedhi saadhi bhartiya nari” (though I believe it’s fictional and does not bear any resemblance to any person living or dead) you should be able to sweep her off her feet, (No brooms please).

6 Mr. Perfect: That guy should be perfect in all respects, can fix the broken appliance, watch the baby, do the dishes, do the girl (in more possible moves than dwarf the number of moves Elvis makes in dance), should stand up for what’s right, arm-wrestle blah blah blah blah...........

7 A big Shaft: Enough said, that requires no explanation ;)

Okay, to say the least some of these actually are making me feel weird so am going to just stop now. Though my attempt is stupid at defining the Alpha Male, I actually found that women like the Beta Male more often when it comes to marriage ( after probably getting screwed by 2-8 Alpha/beta/theta/delta/omega oh fuck it doesn’t matter what their level is..........classic Rock moment........ males depending on the level of horniness ). But I still find it hard to define an Alpha Male, so am going to stop now and discuss it over till we come to a conclusion.

The guy from Alpha Nation.
There was a time the author used to think that Alpha Males were big, handsome, gay men from the land of Alpha Nation, but his beliefs have been widely shaken as he comes to term with the fact that Alpha males are probably the reason he’s single coupled with his own stupidity.

Media, Mantri and Moolah

It's hard as it is to write on such a controversial topic, which shakes our very belief in everything. It's like your girlfriend/wife on your marriage/anniversary/valentine's day tying you to a bed and submitting you to become a helpless cuckold as she enjoys the love of another person. It's only upto you whether you support it or absolutely hate it. Okay so maybe I've gone too far with that bit, but then again it's close enough.

A few days back a friend of mine made some defamatory remarks against one of the highest respected journalists in India on twitter. Outraged by this, I asked him to come clean on it. It was then that he sent me the link to a conversation tape of Barkha Dutt with a journalist where she openly talked about her involvement in scam. Shocked and awed by this and not knowing what to say, I never realised I was just at the doorsteps of the museum of Black Journalism, as the things unfolded everything became only clearer. Hoping the media would take this matter to task. Surely, if a waldrobe malfunction or Pamela Anderson on Bigg Boss can make headlines this is something that can go on for days.

I was in for a rude shock once again as even after days of this incident by the open mag coming to light, there was not even as much as a stir in the mainstream media. This could only mean one thing that there are more than one journalist in such scam and history proves it too. Many politicians in the Legislative and the Parliament have listed journalism as their profession. The perks available to top journalist from companies and politicians are unending. that go from luxury holidays to blackberry's and the girls(who can forget about them, ahh the pervs will like this)

My only Solace is that a small group of twitterapis are alive and kicking and trying all they can to bring this into the mainstream media. Though I guess the freedom of press is being misused in this case as it's using everything possible. Shameful.

Never would've thought I would be writing about the media openly taking money from politicians to be their agents or keep their scandals a secret under the garb of foolish journalism such as that portrayed by India TV with their stories on a guy getting bitten by a dog or animal fights not worth even showing on the Animal Planet.

I end this blog with the hope that justice finds it's way one way or the other, and if she is really innocent then she should come out and prove herself. And finally the media needs to come clean too, as they're the one to whom the "aam aadmi" went when the govt failed to deliver. This leaves a question to be answered- who do we trust now????? POP comes the answer 'Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey' creators of Facebook and twitter for giving us a platform to spread it faster than wildfire. Thanks to both of you. BUT THEN DOES THE BUCK STOP HERE

The author is of the belief that the media deserves a sharp kick in the ass for hiding the truth and for their belief that Karma never bites. And for those who don't know about it listen to the below 4 audio tapes of their tapped conversation [Courtesy: Open Magazine,Samadrita Kuiti and Anil Sawan on Twitter!]

http://goo.gl/69oQA [1]

http://goo.gl/OswRz [2]

http://goo.gl/BhN4d [3]

http://goo.gl/tNzrN [4]

Hater's paradise

Been dormant on the writing scene for quite sometime, so today I decided to put something up. It's been quite sometime and a lot of changes happened during this time. Been going through a lot of emo shit so don't know what to write and what not to.

Ever since my exams I've been in a state of semi psych trance mode, trying to figure out what's real and what's not, I remember just a few days back I was trying to push open the doors of an ATM only to realise it was in fact a glass wall. Though everyone considers me as a nice guy, until they don't count the innumerable fights I've picked with random people, the most recent one being yesterday when I punched a guy in the face because he was holding up the lift to have a chat with someone.

Another weird shit I did was get my emotions or at least a part of it out and made it into something beautiful (mixtape). So you'll know what kind of state I am in.

I've had these moments when I just hated everything and everyone for no apparent reason, and still everything seemed perfectly all right. At other times when I'm cool with everything yet nothing seems good. Don't really know what else to write. Will put something up when my mood is better.

The author is definitely not in the mood or the condition to write about anything yet felt the need to write. He would also like to reach out to 3 other friends whom he knows are dealing with the same or similar condition, with a hope that we'll get enough strength to move on without fear or troubles. PEACE

A deejay is born

This time I write out not as a blogger but as an artist. Dad's deejaying finally rubbed off and I made my first mixtape yesterday, though it was just for fun and made in under an hour during breakfast but I hope you guys like it. This'll only help me out later on. This ain't a thought but something I have a passion for, a passion for music. Even though this is the worst time to do it seeing that my exams are just a week away but then somethings can't be explained and can't be helped. I'll be laying off the music scene till I'm done with exams. But if you find it good i'll find a way to make it better. I've titled it the insane dance music because the music doesn't make sense just like pretty much everything else in my life.



With Love :)
DJ Ritzzz a.k.a. Rishabh
Download link- http://www.mixcrate.com/mix/8563/The-Insane-Dance-Music

Life on a Keyboard

As I look back at my last five years in Delhi, I've come to realise that except for the one and a half years I spent in college, I never really had much of a life which I can say I'm proud of. For some reasons, unknown to me, my whole world was slowly confined to a 20X15 ft room with the only mode of contact being either my cellphone or mostly my computer.

Though I have over 200 contacts on my Facebook profile, I am not proud to say that I barely know who my neighbours are over here or the fact that I hardly keep in touch with any of those 200+ contacts. In fact, I've come to realise that there maybe only 10 with whom I'm in regular touch and 15-20 more whom I contact occasionally. That, besides a few occasional chats with someone every now and then. The only other news I get from the rest of them is when someone hits me with a pillow, or when I am tagged in those automatic application pictures or when someone thinks that I can drink 10 cans of beer in a row, when someone answers one of those random 'Yes' or 'No' Questions about me. No I still won't join your mafia or fertilize your crops because I left that a long time ago and frankly you should grow up too.

It's quite hard to actually say when I had fun with friends except for that time around New Year's maybe, when I went to Chandigarh, talked to real people and for once actually had fun. After that, having fun meant a chat on GTalk or socialising meant writing on someone's wall or posting a scrap on Orkut.



Most of my time is eaten up by work and the rest of it by studying up the impossible amounts of study material thrown at me. But, slowly and steadily I got used to it. As I don't socialise for real because I am stuck here, this is the only thing keeping me from going insane. I also know that without any other option in sight I must cling on to it with a hope of living a real life other than my life on a keyboard.

The author would have loved to write more on this but someone pinged him on Gmail, and he left to have a chat with that person. He also has to respond to a few wall posts by other friends where most of them are still asking him to fertilize their farm. Some people never get it.

40 Pass but 49 Fail

Yep, you got it correct. This is what someone like me would be thinking about every single day of my life. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, this is what an average student pursuing Chartered Accountancy (C.A.) deals with.

The daily grind, the endless hours of coaching, listening to your boss for hours and hours about what you've done right or as in my case wrong. Wishing so much that you get a chance to go out of the office to other places just so you stay away from the boss even if it's for an hour. The sometimes boring conversations about the latest changes in law etc. over lunch or coffee. Falling for that cute girl in your office or just staring for hours at that new girl in your newly joined Tax class.

Yup it's all here. By the time you finish it off, no matter where you are later on you'll always get to look back at that time with a sigh of relief that it's over but also with a wish to relive it. If you make it through and become a C.A., then comes the endless parties that you have to give to everyone. If you don't then comes the thought of your next attempt, and how to convince your boss to give you more leaves so you can clear maybe one group or maybe both of them.

It's been tough going for all of us as students who sometimes feel that life has been unjust in the way you are treated whether in the office or when you give your examinations, but the fact is that this is what it'll take for you to become someone who can stand up to even the toughest things in life.

I end my post with a message that even if we do fail an exam, the strength of the spirit lies in moving on.




Dedicated to all C.A. students like me and to the Garuda of the ICAI logo which inspires professionalism, skepticism, transparency and the courage to rise above those and be awake while others sleep

The simple life

Till now I've received a lot of positive and a few negative feedbacks on my blog which I really appreciate. I've tried on a different template so I hope you guys can comment over here now. I'll soon be taking an off from work and preparing for my exams so the blogs from my side may get low unless am really in the mood to write.

Coming to the point, there is none. I've just been too busy with the things that all other people do, you know work, live life etc. Lately, I've not been feeling too good for reasons I will never know and wouldn't care even if I do. Filling that gap with movies may sound good, but then it gets boring. And for those who are mulling about what movie to go for, try Alice in Wonderland though most of you have already booked or watched "Love,Sex,Dhokha(LSD)" by now. The latter is what the world has come to now, and the former takes you back to the time when you thought the whole world was innocent and not so F*cking Psychotic. And all of this for what? Greed? Maybe. The greed to earn more than your friends, the greed to have a better car, better girl, more money to spend, living a more luxurious life than you are.

Now Mahatma Gandhi said a whole lot of things, but we all know a good number of them feel outdated to most of us."Simple living, high thinking" etc etc. But then I don't think any of this is really gonna help. Neither is this blog post really gonna change your mind. But then this is my space and I'll write whatever comes to me. Just don't miss out the little things out when going out to achieve the big ones, these'll make sure you don't end up as a complete mess when you've finally reached your peak, be it average, above average or like me bottom of the food chain.
Till next time,
Peace

Although the author would have written more but is too lazy right now because it is a Sunday, he prefers enjoying it by getting up late, watching TV or reading a novel with some nice tea and hot pakoras by the side and sleeping away the afternoon followed by an outing with friends and dinner and drink with the family. But his dreams and aspirations of not ending up an average guy and definitely not a loser never gave him the opportunity to enjoy these things properly, with the hope that one day he will.

The United colors of Holi

Well it's me again with my second blog........it's just 7:45 a.m. and I've been up since 4 even though it's off to a somewhat slow start.........

I haven't played Holi for at least 3 years, so it's been quite a while but the last time I did was fun.........getting colours onto your brand new jeans and tee, dumping a friend into a tub full of water...... going mad in excitement......not to mention I also found out that it's not a good idea to spray deo to get rid of the smell of eggs from your car, and that carrying your iphone around in holi can lead to major disasters......



But as the day moves on we'll hear some common sounds no matter which part of the country we're in including "happy holi,bura na mano;rang barse" not to mention the other sounds of cars and bikes without silencers the dudes and chicks high on 'bhaang' the nagging, the booze, the fights and in the end getting back together and having a good laugh as the doctor treats you for your injuries add up to the fun and excitement, not to mention that your ordeal almost landed you in jail and that because of your injuries you get to enjoy a couple of days off from work/school/college etc.

But that's what makes it so special the booze, the puddle of mud mixed with pee, cow dung, ketchup etc; the bhaang, the overtly loud vehicles, the carefree attitude, the funny facebook pics you guys are gonna get tagged in later showing your faces covered in all sorts of stuff making you look like weird mutant aliens trying to take over the world, the loud blaring music on which you are gonna dance away through the day, oh and not to mention the regular things friends and family members and a whole lot of color splashing.


Not to Mention the perves and among you will try to as hard as you can to grope hot chicks even if you are in a relation, all in the name of holi. I know you're more busy looking at the pic right now.

So go out enjoy and yes HAPPY HOLI TO EVERYONE!!
Note: If you are reading this on holi then either you are totally 'vehla' like me, so I suggest you write something up as well, or you are stuck in some weird country that couldn't really bother what it is today, but you can still enjoy with every other thing except the colours ;)

The Valentine that never was

It took me a while to get my thoughts in order, which were all just a chopped into tiny little pieces of chocolate and neatly wrapped in a heart shaped box with a "To my Valentine" card attached to it. But coming to the point I was never really in the mood to write it so I ain't gonna write my experience.

Now I don't own a fancy Civic like my friend Robby, so I don't know what it feels like to make love to a car while cruising through the roads of Chandigarh, neither do I have a past experience of a girl ditching me just days before Valentine Day so I'll spare you the agony.

This one goes out to a random guy, single in the city working his way to make a living, making a name for himself, struggling day in and day out. He doesn't fancy fast rides, he'll make do if the bus gets him home on time so he can sleep peacefully. He could care less about this Valentine's day. It gives him a chance to get all those other things done which could not be completed during the week, the pipe's been leaking, The wires hanging from the ceiling need to be fixed and the one room shack he lived in itself was in a mess.

His humble beginnings and the fact that he came to realise his dreams from a family living in abject poverty for whom he must earn made him stay away from the better part and simple luxuries of life. But the fact that being devoid of these things never really bothered him much, he was too busy for them or maybe he kept all these feelings inside him which pinched him day in and day out, the feeling of being loved by a female someone who he could care for and someone who would love him back but then reality would strike him hard as he would realise how much work he needs to complete in the office and oblivious to anyone he would kill his soul silently and move on during the day only to revive it during the free 30 minutes he got during his lunch break and then repeat the heinous act one more time just because those emotions made him weak from his knees, he knew that it can't help him get the money he needed to provide for his family neither can it help him go further his career.

His only option left was to adopt an alter ego for himself, a guy bitchy to the core who couldn't give respect to anyone and drowned himself in his work completely with a small hope that one day his Valentine would be a happy one, till then the only thing he could do was love himself and hope that someone would do so too.

Dedicated to my friend, a person I came to know of during my period in office, hope you find love one day, and to Roohbir and Robby for actually giving me an inspiration to write something that to me does not and will never make sense ;)

Roohbir's Blog http://roohbir.blogspot.com/

Robby's Blog http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=309329187492